pregnancy questions
Placing My Baby For Adoption
Just as with any other important decision in your life, you should do some research and make a plan. When you are planning an adoption, you must consider your baby first, but also the desires that you have for this adoption.
Here are some topics to think about, which may help you make an informed decision about adoption. Talking these things over with someone you trust may be helpful, too. A supportive relative or friend, or an adoption counselor or attorney may help you think these things through while you are making your adoption plan.
Adoption choices
Years ago almost all adoptions were conducted in secrecy with no contact between the birthparents and the adoptive parents. These are known as a closed adoption. Today, however, most birthparents meet the couple who will adopt their baby in what is known as an open adoption.
Closed adoption means that there is no contact at all between the birthmother and the adoptive parents, and no identifying information is exchanged. Agencies handling these adoptions may pass correspondence between the two parties before or after the adoption, but they will not give out any contact information to either party. If you prefer not to correspond with the adoptive parents, that choice is yours.
Open adoption offers a wide variety of contact choices, but the basic understanding is that there is open communication between the birthmother and the adoptive parents, both before and after the birth. Open adoption can include the exchange of letters and photos; face-to-face, first-names-only meetings; sharing full-identifying information; and having access on an ongoing basis. The type of communication or contact, the frequency of their communications, and any adjustment are worked out between the birthmother and the adoptive parents, although the details of this arrangement are often helped along by an intermediary, such as an adoption social worker, attorney or adoption counselor.
Some semi-open adoptions are conducted by social service adoption agencies, which may allow adoptive parents and birthmothers to meet one time prior to the adoption; however, there may be rules denying the exchange of identifying information or any direct communication after the adoption.
Today a birthmother can select the parents she wants to raise her children. Often agencies and attorneys will show birthmothers a selection of profiles and photos of couples. Adoption.com's Adoptive Parent Registry (http://www.adoption.com/registry/search.wga) offers profiles and photos of couples who are longing to adopt. A birthmother can choose from over 200 hopeful adoptive parents by reading couples' "Dear Birthmother" letters, studying their profiles and pictures, and then initiating contact through e-mail or telephone.
Please be aware that choosing an open adoption does not mean that you are co-parenting the child. The adoptive parents will be your baby's legal parents and guardians. Depending on your relationship with the adoptive parents, you will probably play the role of a special friend or relative of the family.
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